WHY FORGIVE?

By: Tuesday Soriano

Words Told to Eileen on her 18th Year

(With excerpts from Philip Yancey's "What's So Amazing about Grace")

Forgiveness is achingly difficult. Long after you’ve forgiven, the wound lives on in memory. Forgiveness does not come naturally.

“Despite a hundred sermons on forgiveness, we do not forgive easily, nor find ourselves easily forgiven.” – Elizabeth O’Connor.

Helmut Thielicke, a German who lived through the horrors of Nazism said this:

This business of forgiving is by no means a simple thing… We say, “Very well, if the other fellow is sorry and begs my pardon, I will forgive him, then I’ll give in.” We make of forgiveness a law of reciprocity. And this never works. For then both of us say to ourselves, “The other fellow has to make the first move.” And then I watch like a hawk to see whether the other person will flash a signal to me with his eyes or whether I can detect some small hint between the lines of his letter which shows that he is sorry. I am always on the point of forgiving… but I never forgive. I am far too just.”

The only remedy, he concluded, was his realization that God had forgiven his sins and given him another chance.

So then, why forgive?

a) Because I am commanded to, as the child of a Father who forgives.

b) Because that is what God is like. When Jesus commanded us to, “Love your enemies,” he added this rationale, “…that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” So if God forgave our sins, how can we not do the same to those who have wronged us?

c) Romans 12 goes on and on… hate evil, be joyful, live in harmony… do not take revenge but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.

Forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. It is never easy. Nagging injustices remain, and the wounds still cause pain. I have to approach God again and again, yielding to him what I thought I had committed to him long ago. Because forgiveness just does not come naturally.

d) Forgiveness alone can halt the cycle of blame and pain. Breaking that cycle means taking the initiative instead of waiting for the other person to make the first move.

e) Because not to forgive imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy, and doom myself to suffer the consequences of the wrong.

Why forgive?

f) When you forgive someone, you slice away the wrong from the person who did it. You disengage that person from his hurtful act. At one moment you identify him permanently as the person who did you wrong. You think of him now not as the person who hurt you, but a person who needs you. Once you branded him as a person powerful in evil, but now you see him as a person weak in his needs.

g) Forgiveness offers a way out. It does not settle all questions of blame and fairness—but it does allow a relationship to start over, to begin anew. If we do not forgive, we remain bound to the people we cannot forgive, held in their vise grip. Until I find it within myself to forgive, the wrong done keeps me an emotional prisoner. Even when one is wholly innocent and the other wholly to blame, for the innocent party will bear the wound until he or she can find a way to release it—and forgiveness is the only way.

Henri Nouwen defines forgiveness as “love practiced among people who love poorly.” He describes the process at work:

“God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking. It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life. It demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive.”

I am a recipient of God’s unconditional forgiveness.

Sixteen years ago, I experienced what was to be one of the most painful days of my life. I was about to be married and found out that I was pregnant. On the 8th month of pregnancy, the man I loved, called to say very simply that he was confused, that he wanted out of the relationship, that it wasn’t me, it wasn’t another woman, it was him. To put it simply, he was abandoning me and my baby.

For a split second, I wanted to slice my bulging belly off. I thought, how can man, created by God, cause indescribable pain and heartache. The pain of childbirth seared through every fiber of my being, magnified by the hurt and emotional upheaval in my heart. The joy of childbirth seemed foreign, almost in a compartment of its own, distant from the pain that choked every breath and strength out of me.

God used that experience to bring me to my knees, draw me to him, and accept his offered gift of grace. Through the years, I learned the power of forgiveness. I struggled to move on but I couldn’t find it within me to forgive.

As you go through life, you will have your own share of hurts and pain. You’ll probably cook up a hundred reasons against forgiveness: 'He needs to learn a lesson. I don’t want to encourage irresponsible behavior. I’ll let her get mad for a while; it will do her good. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. I was the wronged party—it’s not up to me to make the first move. How can I forgive if he’s not even sorry?' etc., etc.

Remember to yield to God and choose the path of forgiveness for in it is your release and your freedom.

Happy 18th, Ei!

The Value of Personal Effort in Soul-Winning

by William Evans

Every Christian should consider it the highest honor, and the greatest privilege to assist in the growth of the kingdom of God, by personal effort in individual soul-winning. He should realize, too, that it is not only his privilege to thus work for God, but that a most solemn responsibility rests upon him to do so. The true Christian, having found Christ to be precious to his own soul, desires, or at once seeks, as did Andrew and Philip of old, to get someone else to taste and see that the Lord is good.

And what is true of the individual Christian should be true of the whole Church. What is the true position of the Church according to the teachings of Christ? Is she not to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world? Should she not be as the woman seeking the lost coin, the shepherd seeking the straying sheep, and the father on the constant lookout for the wayward son? That church, the members of which are not interested in, and putting forth personal effort in behalf of, a lost world, has in truth forfeited its credentials and its right to exist. In seeking to save its own soul, it has really lost it.

An anonymous clipping contains the following suggestive remarks along this particular line:

"'What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?' That is to say, the alpha and omega of Christianity is soul-winning, and every letter between the first and last should be permeated by the spirit which seeks the lost.

"It is not enough to be evangelical. We must be evangelistic. The evangelical church is a reservoir of pure water without a pipe running anywhere. If you will take the trouble to go to it and climb the embankment, you will get a good drink. The evangelistic church is a reservoir of pure water with a pipe to every heart in the community, and every nation in the world. Evangelical may mean truth on ice; evangelistic means truth on fire. Evangelical may be bomb-proof for defense; evangelistic means an army on the march with every face towards the enemy. Evangelical sings, 'Hold the fort, for I am coming'; evangelistic sings, 'Storm the fort, for God is leadin.' The need of the Church is not evangelicalism as a thing to fight for, but evangelism as a force to fight with. The evangelical creed merely held and defended becomes a fossil, only a thing of interest.

"Several miles above Milton, Pennsylvania, [United States], when the ice was breaking up, a farmer got into one of his boats, purposing to pull it out of the river. A floating mass of ice struck it, breaking it loose from the bank, and carrying it and him out into the current. A neighbor, seeing the danger, mounted a horse and with all speed rode down to Milton. The people of the town gathered all the ropes they could secure, went out on the bridge, and suspended a line of dangling ropes from the bridge across the river. They could not tell at just what point the boat with the farmer would pass under, so they put a rope down every two or three feet clear across. By and by the farmer was seen, wet and cold, standing in the boat half full of water, drifting down the rapid current. When he saw the ropes dangling within reach, he seized the nearest one, was drawn up and saved. Now, one rope might not have answered the purpose. The pastor hangs the rope of salvation from the pulpit, and sinners present do not seem to get near it; but if the business men will hang out ropes, and you young men and women, mothers and wives, hang out ropes, sinners will certainly be saved."

Greater stress is here laid upon winning men to Christ by individual effort rather than upon any other method of accomplishing the same purpose, revivals, for example. Not that we do not believe in revivals, for how can one be a believer in the Bible and not believe in revivals? But personal soul-winning is much greater than revivalism. Indeed, is not the purpose and end of a true revival to make the individual Christian worker more interested in souls? A revival that does not accomplish this end is not a success. Both evangelist and pastor agree on this.

Revivalism is fishing with a great net; personal soul-winning is fishing with a single hook. Both are right; but all Christians cannot handle the big net, while all can use the single hook. All Christians are to be fishers of men. That form of Christian activity, therefore, is most important, which excludes none from participation in it.

Much is said today about winning "the crowds" for Jesus Christ. Every such effort is to be encouraged; but we must not forget that men can enter into the kingdom of God only as individuals. Religion emphasizes personality. In what is a man better than a sheep? In this: that he is a personality, and must be dealt with as such, personally, individually. It is for this reason that the intelligent evangelist lays such emphasis upon a good corps of personal workers who shall deal with the crowds who come forward under the impulse of the invitation, individually and personally. Indeed, we do not consider that converts have been dealt with properly until they have been dealt with personally.

Religion emphasizes personality. Recently a photograph was left in my office. It was that of a converted convict. It had no name on it, only a number. Personality is lost in jail; it is a number that is there recognized. It is a number that paces up and down the cell, a number that walks out to work in the yards, a number that sits down to eat, a number that takes sick and dies, and a number that is buried in the potter's field. Personality, not numbers, counts in the kingdom of God; the Church is made up of that innumerable host which no man can number, but who carry upon their foreheads the name of Him whose they are and whom they serve. All talk about a social salvation, and a sweeping of men into the kingdom by crowds, is to be received with some apprehension, to say the least.

Jesus Christ Our Example

Jesus Christ won most, if not all, of His followers by personal effort. Do you recall a single instance of what we, in this day, would call a great revival taking place during Christ's ministry? He enlisted Matthew at the toll-booth, and Peter, James and John at their nets, by personal invitation: "Come, follow me!" One by one, man by man; that is how Christ's cause grew.

What is the great lesson taught in the first chapter of John, the chapter commonly called the "Eureka" or "I have found" chapter? Is it not that the Church of Christ grew and is to grow by personal effort? Does not the Holy Spirit set forth at the beginning of the Christian dispensation the divine method of extending Christianity, the law of the kingdom's growth, namely, the finding of one disciple by another?

The supreme business of the Christian is to individualize the Gospel. No distinction, such as clergy and laity, is here recognized. As followers of Christ we are all to be personal soul-winners. Every Christian layman is "ordained" to go and bring forth fruit, and is a "minister" in so far as every man who has received a gift — and every Christian has received one — is called upon to minister therewith (John 15:16; 1 Peter 4:10,11).

The Apostles' Example

How personal soul-winning is emphasized in the Acts of the Apostles! Pentecost is passed over with comparatively small mention; but the Church of Jesus Christ going out as individual personal workers — John here, Peter there, Philip yonder, the ordinary Christian layman going from house to house, seeking to extend the kingdom of the Christ — this is given in detail, and to its narration is devoted much space.

The church at Colosse began not with a great revival under Paul, but as the result of the faithful personal work of one man, Epaphras. The church at Rome was undoubtedly founded in the same way. Pastors acknowledge that the best additions to their churches are those won to Christ by personal effort. ...Dr. J. O. Peck is reported to have said, that if he had the certainty that he was to live only ten years, and as a condition of gaining heaven at the end thereof, he had to win a thousand or ten thousand souls for Christ, and he was given his choice of winning them either by preaching sermons or by individual effort, he would choose the latter method every time.